I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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