so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize