This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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