Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I touched a dick in church today
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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