Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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