bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
God, I missed his penis.
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