And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize