is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
