ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
