need another drink. this is the easiest way
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
