Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
