i think i have two assholes
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Randomize
