I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize