turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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