so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
