i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize