could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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