I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
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