I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
