shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
She needs sedatives and a leash
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
