sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
