i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
