Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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