So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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