The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
