All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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