we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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