I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
