I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
