i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
