My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
