community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
