it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize