R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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