Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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