She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
