something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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