I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
