i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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