You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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