let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Boobs are out for the taking
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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