now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
