I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
