dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
