that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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