How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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