i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
