just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
