you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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