i don't like sucking hair
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize