it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
