I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
