Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize