Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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