I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
