and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
