I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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