the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You made out with two different species that night
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
