their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
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