I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
