I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
