I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize