So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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